About a month ago, I came across a lovely poem in my German text book. Although there were a few words I didn't quite understand, I thought the message came through clearly. Reading it over in a class a few days later, the meaning of both the words and their meaning to me became even more clear:
Ein Schulabschluss - A high school diploma
ein paar wild Jahre - a few wild years
ein Haufen Idealismus - so much idealism...
ein Beruf - a job
eine Hochzeit - a wedding
eine Wohnung - an apartment
ein paar Jahre weiterarbeiten - a few more years of working
eine Wohnzimmergarnitur - a living room set
ein Kind - a child
eine wunderbare komfortable Einbauküche - a wonderful comfortable kitchen set
noch 'n Kind - another kid
ein Mittelklassewagen - a middle class car
ein Bausparvertrag - a middle size car
ein Farbfernseher - a color TV
noch 'n Kind - another kid
ein eigenes Haus - my own house
eine Lebenversicherung - life insurance
eine Rentenversicherung - workers insurance
eine Zusatz-Krankenversicherung - specialty medical insurance
ein Zweitwagen mit Volkaskoversicherung - a second car with car insurance
und so weiter ... - et. cetra
und so weiter ... - et. cetra
Hoffentlich bin ich stark genug - Hopefully I am strong enough
meiner Zukunft zu entgehen! - to escape my future!
There is nothing inherently negative about thing poem, written by Nina Achminow at age 16, and for some people I know it actually sounds positive. But for me, it starts out alright. Graduating high school: check. A few "wild years": mmm, check. An apartment (or two or five): check. A relationship: check. Job: we;;, maybe. But right about the time she starts talking about a living room set, all of the alarms in my mind and heart start screaming at me that this is a poisonous piece of art.
As it goes on I feel my heart sinking lower and lower - is this really what life is about? Three kids, two cars, and 37 life insurance policies?!
By the end the reader has most likely fallen prey to one of three responses:
1) "Wow, that sounds comfortable and comforting."
2) "Aw, hell NO!"
3) "Wait...she doesn't sound so enthusiastic anymore..."
And then the last two lines.
For me, those were some of the most hopeful words I've read n a long time. Escape - escape this life that sounds more like prison than life? Yes please! But then I looked again, she's 16, she has no idea if she's going to "escape" this future or not. But me? I'm 24, and so far, even in the ways I've followed this life plan, it's been on my own terms. And after the "idealism" line, well, I'm afraid that's where my path parts from this plan.
But then I think a bit more.
The fact is, I'm only 24, I am very idealistic, and I have a lot left to do. But deep inside, a part of me wants some of this. All the insurance I could do without, but the family part. The stability and love that comes with a family of one's own, with or without the living room set, the second car, or the TV, I know myself well enough at this point to realize that some day, I will want that.
So it's not really about the strength to escape this future, but the strength to choose one's own future and the strength to know when it's time to change paths, regardless of where you are or choose to go.
All this from my German text book.
