who?

i know myself. when i woke up bawling yesterday, i knew that the only safe response was to go back to sleep because if i didn't do that, the other options that would come to mind would all be bad. they would range from eating to cutting and everywhere inbetween. so i went back to sleep....woke up feeling enough better to think, so i began to wonder, what could i do to feel better? what are my options? iknew what i wanted. i wanted jo to be here and for her to put her arms around me and let me cry. but that couldn't happen....other things came to mind: someone else to hold me tight enough to where i would feel safe, music to drown the tears, food to stimulate my senses, and of course, the old stand-by - self-inflicted physical pain to numb the emotinal and psychological pain the trheatened to smother me in it's illogical and inescapable weight. none of the above seemed to be the right choice, so i forced myself to sleep more. when i woke up again, i was feeling sufficiently logical to begin to ask better questions... how do other people deal with pain? what is a different response to depression than hurting myself? what can i do besides retreat, isolation, and self-medication to combat the emotional pain that is always threatening to drown me if i give it the slightest chance? i know myself. i know how i attempt to cope. but what about other people? how do they fight? ...and will they talk? who will help me see options to a better way back up?