For many, many years I told myself and many other people that I didn't want to have children.
Why? Simple - a lot of work, I have other things to do, and (MUCH) more importantly, I was scared. Scared that they wouldn't like me. Scared that they would turn out bad. Scared that my flaws would hurt them too much, that they would be indefinitely scarred because of me.
For some reason it dawned on me a few months ago that all children go through phases where they don't like their parents. And even when they get out of that phase, well there will always be things that we admire in our parents, and there will always be things about them that we disagree with.
And over the last few months I've realized something else.
Yes, my parents flaws are very obvious to me. And yes, many of them have hurt me. Their flaws are probably the first things that ever hurt me, and will in that sense be memorialized in my heart. But that is only one half of the story. The other half is a lot better!
My parents' strengths, while not so obvious at first, are also the first that shaped me. Who I am today is a direct result of my parents' dedication, love, convictions, imagination, and wisdom. They even managed to pass on many of their greatest strengths to me and my siblings. My siblings, and their families, are beyond a doubt, the hardest-working, most genuine, intelligent, discerning, caring, honest, creative, and supportive people that I know. And I like to think that I share these traits.
Yes, I make my own decisions.
Yes, I am very different from my parents.
Yes, they have hurt me.
Yes, I have hurt them.
Yes, parenting is probably the hardest and most far-reaching adventure on which anyone can embark.
And YES, I am open to trying it some day.
Why? Simple - a lot of work, I have other things to do, and (MUCH) more importantly, I was scared. Scared that they wouldn't like me. Scared that they would turn out bad. Scared that my flaws would hurt them too much, that they would be indefinitely scarred because of me.
For some reason it dawned on me a few months ago that all children go through phases where they don't like their parents. And even when they get out of that phase, well there will always be things that we admire in our parents, and there will always be things about them that we disagree with.
And over the last few months I've realized something else.
Yes, my parents flaws are very obvious to me. And yes, many of them have hurt me. Their flaws are probably the first things that ever hurt me, and will in that sense be memorialized in my heart. But that is only one half of the story. The other half is a lot better!
My parents' strengths, while not so obvious at first, are also the first that shaped me. Who I am today is a direct result of my parents' dedication, love, convictions, imagination, and wisdom. They even managed to pass on many of their greatest strengths to me and my siblings. My siblings, and their families, are beyond a doubt, the hardest-working, most genuine, intelligent, discerning, caring, honest, creative, and supportive people that I know. And I like to think that I share these traits.
Yes, I make my own decisions.
Yes, I am very different from my parents.
Yes, they have hurt me.
Yes, I have hurt them.
Yes, parenting is probably the hardest and most far-reaching adventure on which anyone can embark.
And YES, I am open to trying it some day.
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