To delete or not to delete?

I always go back and forth between embarrassment and pride when I read back over my old blog posts. More often than not I want to delete them. I look back at my past self, writing these sometimes amusing, sometimes perplexing entries and my present self thinks in all its superiority that I've come so far. I ask myself why I should leave those old posts up for the public to see when they very often reflect very little of who I am now.

But then I have to admit to myself that who I am now is because of who I was then. My blog isn't about who I am. It's about growth, a universal struggle. I'm not writing as someone who's arrived. I'm writing as someone who's getting there. Getting where? I'm not sure, but the whole point is to chronicle the journey.

So yes, very often when I read back just a few months into the past, I find that I've changed and grown. And very often I wish I could erase that old step. Only without that past step, I'd never be where I am now. And without the memory of that step, I'd never realize just how far I've come.

So just like those old pictures on Facebook...the ones with that old boyfriend, with those 15 extra pounds, with those old clothes I used to wear (talk about embarrassing!), or with those old friends I'd forgotten about. Those pictures, these blog posts, just like my past, will stay. A record of who I've been. A reminder of where I've walked. And very often, good for a rueful smile or two.