i know, i am afraid of commitment. i run from intimacy. and i play guys so obviously that they know it. but i do want to get married some day. later than sooner....all in good time...
well i have begun to realize, from people in my life, from people NOT in my life, and from general thinking, that i now have a fairly good idea of who i want to marry. that's what i think today, i'll be rewriting this post in less than a year i'm sure...lol
well, yes, there are all the little things,
...like it would be really cool if he liked trucks and motorcycles and sports cars.
...and it would be really cool if he liked country and classic rock.
...and it would be really cool if he liked dancing.
...and it would be really cool if he liked my family.
...and it would be really cool if his family liked me.
...and it would be really cool if he liked watching football on sunday afternoons.
...and it would be really cool if he liked driving.
...and it would be really cool if he had long hair.
...and it would be really cool if he spoke english as a 1st language and spanish as a 2nd (or 3rd of 4th...whatever, i'm not picky...).
...and it would be really cool if he liked talking.
...and it would be really cool if he wanted to move around the world (and live in madison).
...and it would be really cool if he knew how to fix cars and wanted to teach me.
...and it would be really cool if he wanted kids like i do.
...and it would be really cool if he liked listening to music in the car.
...and it would be really cool if he liked going to random places late at night for no reason.
...and it would be really cool if he didn't like texting other people when he was with real people.
...and it would be really cool if he liked to cook.
...and it would be really cool if he was semi-artistic.
...and it would be really cool if he liked driving fast.
BUT. those are the little things.....there are 4 things that are non-negotiables.
first though, i will say this, i know within a week (and usually the first time we meet) if i will never like a guy. i don't ever know if i WILL. but i know when i won't. the 3 guys i have ever really liked, i had no idea when i first met that i would...i just knew i thought they were interesting. and then after a while...6 months or more, i'm interested. haha
i also know rather quickly who i will like a little bit, but can't like a lot. those guys often like me a little too...i feel a little bad for them. oh well. happens to the best of us.
but down to what i really want to write about.
a guy i WILL NOT marry...
...has an addiction. i don't care what it is, unless he is actively fighting it. i don't care if he wants to smoke now and then. i don't care what he smokes. i don't care if he wants to drink - i wanna drink with him! but if he is physically or psychologically addicted, i won't marry him. one comment though, i will have to make a 12-yard, 12-hour rule: no smoking within 12 yards, and no kissing within 12 hours. LOL!!! it's kinda funny, but i mean it.
...is unattractive. i don't mean he thinks he is unattractive. or other people think he is unattractive. it doesn't matter what he looks like as long as i am attracted to him.
...is abusive/violent. maybe, as with the addiction, if he is learning self-control, i would marry him. but a consistently emotionally, physically, or mentally abusive guy is a DEFINATE no.
the guy i WILL marry...
...LOVES GOD and has a growing relationship with him. obviously, that implies i've known him long enough to see for myself. he will share my heart for the world...whether we are in madison, or mexico, or monterey he will be happy to invest our life into others' for the sake of the gospel. i don't mean we go to church every week, tho i think we need to be involved with christians. i don't mean we legalistically read and pray at set times every day. i mean we love God and prioritize our relationships with him before anything else. before church, before work, before each other, before our potential kids. i mean we love each other and prioritize each other more than anyone else...before our kids, before our friends, before our bosses, before family. i mean we prioritze other peoples' relationships with God pefore anything besides what i've already written about... lol
the last thing i want is a guy who doesn't love God. the second-to-last thing i want is a guy who is super-spiritual and doesn't love God. the third-to-last thing i want is a guy who kind of loves God but isn't passionate about him. we have to share that.
...THINKS. i tend to think way more than most people i talk to. or at least, i think deeper...or i think about different things - that's probably it. but i need a guy who will keep up with my brain, challenge it, and enjoy mine. it's probably good if we think differently. that's probably really good, so i don't care how he thinks, as long as we both love thinking and sorting things out. i like understanding the world i'm trying to live in, and if he's oblivious...well, honestly, i hate that. lol
i am very analytical. he can be. most guys are. i am not terribly sensetive though...some guys are. i like those guys....somehow. it's weird cause i feel like girls are supposed to be the sensetive ones, but since i'm not, i hope he will be. but that's just a hope.
...LOVES NATURE. i don't mean loves hiking. i don't mean loves hunting. i don't mean loves animals. i just mean loves nature. loves lving in it, being in it, being a part of it. someone who would sit and watch the stars all night. someone who would go barefoot just to feel the ground. someone who would stop and move a turtle out of the road. someone who would loves running up creekbeds barefoot...but who will stop and admire the intense and searing beauty around him before moving on. <--- that is my favorite thing to do. =) this one i think will be the hardest to find.
...has the right hands. i try to shake guys' hands when i meet them. because my guy will have hands that i want to hold. so far there are very few hands that i even want to touch after the first shake...they just aren't right.
...is adventurous. obviously. i am boring by myself. i need a guy who will challenge me. who will help me do things i can't do alone, but want to do. i need a guy who will do crazy things just for the heck of it. with me. sometimes i am scared. sometimes i make boring choices. sometimes i try to be safe or follow rules. hopefully not so when i'm with him.
...loves the world. isn't caged up in his own little (unreal) world.
...likes my hair. =)
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